This month's birth story is from another Hypnobabies student of mine. I had the privilege of refreshing her Hypnobabies tools and techniques in a one on one setting, she had used Hypnobabies with a previous birth and noticed what a difference it made for her, so decided to take the class again in preparation for her daughter's birth.



Brielle ended up being born 12 days early on March 6. I had an early labor scare a couple of weeks before that and was grateful when she decided to wait a little longer to be born. Even with that early labor scare, I found myself repeating Hypnobabies programming to myself - things like, "Your baby will choose her birthday," etc. I felt really calm that whenever she decided to be born, things would work out. I think that was all due to my Hypnobabies practice.

Almost all signs of labor completely vanished after those couple of days when I was having almost non-stop contractions. I wasn't even having very many Braxton Hicks contractions. The day before Brielle ended up being born, I wasn't having contractions but I did keep rubbing my arms a lot, as if I could feel a lot of power pulsating underneath the surface. I ended up waking up in the night at about 3:30 am, trying to convince myself to get up to use the bathroom.  All of a sudden, before I got out of bed, I felt a gush of liquid and thought I had peed my pants!! I thought, that was awkward!

I got up and used the bathroom and when I stood up I felt a gush of liquid again. That's when I realized that my water had broken! I still wasn't having ANY contractions. I didn't want to wake the midwife in the middle of the night for nothing, so I decided to pull out my Hypnobabies info to see what it said about waters breaking. In the end, I decided to go back to bed to try to get some rest. I listened to a few Hypnobabies tracks - I was too keyed up to ever fall back asleep, but at leas that was very relaxing.

I talked to Becky from the Birth Center around 8:00 am or so and we decided I should come in to the Birth Center to be monitored for a bit to see how baby was doing, especially because it looked like there was some meconium in the water. We got there around 9:00 and I was on the monitor for a while - baby's heart rate looked great, but sure enough I was hardly having any contractions and the ones that were coming were really dinky. I was using my Peace cue a lot to not dwell on the worst case scenario of what would happen if my body didn't go into labor on its own. Becky suggested I start alternating briskly walking up and down the halls with resting and then walk sideways up and down the stairs to try to get my body to go into labor.

I think Brielle was listening when she heard Becky say, "Let's have a baby today, okay?" Becky needed to give me some antibiotics because I was Group B Strep positive. I decided I wanted the antibiotics since my waters had already been broken for a number of hours and since there was meconium in the water. Honestly, getting the IV in was the worst part of the whole process! It took her a while to find a vein that she could get the IV into and she had to redo it when the first time didn't take. That was not fun. I was on a birthing ball and starting to feel like things were revving up a little bit. I didn't have my Hypnobabies tracks in because I had been talking with Becky, and I think that made everything feel more harsh. Finally, once the IV was in, I started listening to my Hypnobabies tracks again and I just felt everything inside me relax. 

At this point, I texted a friend to watch my youngest two kids and had my mother-in-law come to the Birth Center with my 12 year old, who really wanted to be at the brith and would have been really mad at me if she'd missed it. Even though my labor was a little bit slow in starting, as soon as the antibiotics were in, I had this intuitive feeling that everything else about that labor was going to be fast - and, boy, was I right!!

I tried to start briskly walking the halls, and my daughter was there by then and she was "racing" me and laughing at me when I would stop to sway back and forth and moan. My husband would stand behind me and lift my belly while I swayed. That taking the pressure off really helped me. I felt like I was getting less and less time between contractions. It felt like waves crashing over me one after another really quickly. But I didn't feel scared. I really felt excited that I was going to be meeting my baby soon.

Although I wanted a water birth (and Becky had the tub filled up while I was getting the antibiotics in), by the time I had my daughter go and get Becky to come back in the room (I think Becky thought things were going to take a lot longer than they did!) I just couldn't imagine getting into the tub. But Becky said, "Let's get you in the tub!" She and Eva (birth assistant) undressed me and helped me into the tub. I also had them help me get my maternity tankini top on - I didn't want all the pictures of me birthing to be topless. :) The water was HEAVENLY! That feeling of waves crashing over me vanished and I felt so much calmer. Very soon after getting in the water, I felt the urge to push. This was the only time during the process that I thought, "I can't do this!" I asked for a mirror to be used so I could see Brielle's head. It felt really hard to push her out, but in the end it only took 7 minutes so I guess it wasn't that bad after all!

The whole experience was intense, powerful, and beautiful. Becky said that I was in early labor for 15 minutes after the antibiotics went in, 15 minutes of active labor, and 7 minutes of pushing. Wow!! I intuitively felt this whole pregnancy that this labor would be really fast. I'm so grateful for the way it worked out with my water breaking beforehand. Otherwise, I think I would have ended up with an accidental home birth. If my labor had progressed the way it did except without my water breaking first, I would have been at home with my 2 and 5 year old, my husband would have been at work, my 12 year old would have been at school, and I probably would have delivered at home on my bathroom floor - so glad that's not how things happened!

This next birth story comes from my amazing student and client Alicia. She so wonderfully jumped at the chance when I asked if she would be willing to share! Her bright personality shines through her writing and will make you smile. You can read more about her adorable family on her blog.
I wan honored to be present at her birth and I loved getting to know Alicia and Allen in Hypnobabies class.

BIRTH STORY of Micahel Allan Ambrose III aka Trey:

Part one:

In order to tell you my birth story we have to go back a few weeks to March 14, 2016. I was 34 weeks and 4 days. The past several days I had been EXTREMELY itchy. I had had this itch in February, but it only last a couple of days and I attributed it to being too hot at times. (My office was SO hot while I was pregnant. I had to get a little desk fan!) In February I mentioned the itchiness to my midwife and she said, "and you probably read about ICP on the internet" I affirmed that I had and she asked if the itchiness was on my hands and feet and I said no. She said to watch it, and if it came back to come in immediately....don't wait!

So, back to March 14th. I had been itchy all weekend. The night before I could barely sleep I was so itchy. My soles of my hands and feet itched, a classic sign of ICP. I decided to go in that very day to see my midwife even though I had my 36 week appointment the next week. I went in and told Stacie (my midwife) what I was feeling. She put me on the monitor to check on baby (he was doing GREAT!) and then ordered a full blood work panel to check for ICP. There are two parts to this test, one would have results (that would either show, you might have ICP or you don't have ICP) the next day and the other would take several days depending on the lab. 

The next day Stacie called me to tell me that the first test showed I could have ICP and that we'd have to wait for the second test to come back. So I sat and waited. That Friday, the 18th my dear friend Becky came into town so we could play and she could throw a baby shower with my sister BreeAnn. Shortly after I got home, just as I was saying hi to her Stacie called me. My levels of bile were very high and she confirmed that I had ICP. She wanted me to go to a specialist ASAP so that he could give permission for an induction. See, with ICP there isn't really any danger to mom (except for the insane itchiness) but it causes several risks for the baby. They always recommend an induction by 37 weeks. We had to move quickly. I was SO GLAD Becky was around. We went out and got a mani/pedi which turned into my pre-baby mani/pedi and we went shopping and ate yummy food. We had a grand time and it was nice to have the distraction.

I met with the specialist on Monday and he confirmed the ICP diagnosis, they did an ultrasound of baby and he looked fantastic! I had an appointment later that day with Stacie and we talked induction. We set the date to start induction on the evening of Tuesday the 29th. The day after our 3-year anniversary. I would come in later that week for monitoring and then again the day before my induction. I was starting to come to terms with everything, but basically had a week to get my life in order before my sweet baby made his appearance. 


Part Two:

So. March 28, 2016. I decided to start my maternity leave this day so that I could have a couple of days to pull myself together and be ready to have a baby. Part of me was really glad to know the exact date this little guy was going to make his appearance, but I had really wanted to go into labor on my own. 

I was in charge of planning our anniversary celebrations (we switch off each year) and had decided to schedule a couple's massage. This turned out to be a GREAT thing seeing as how it was the day before I had a baby. It was wonderful. I also saw my midwife one last time this day for monitoring, the next time I saw her I would be having a baby!!

March 29, 2016 was a beautiful day. After Allan got off work I decided I really didn't want to cook dinner. I also REALLY wanted chips and salsa from Chile's. So we drove down to the Chile's by the hospital where I would be delivering. I think I mostly ate chips and salsa, and they were divine. We then drove over to the hospital to get all checked in and our amazing doula, Bonnie, met us there. 

Bonnie was amazing. I loved having her as my doula. We met her through our hypnobabies course that we took to prepare for the birth of our little man and I knew shortly after we started that class that I wanted Bonnie as my doula. She visited with us for a little bit as I got prepped and then they inserted a drug called Cervidil inserted up by my cervix. This drug was to start softening my cervix and (fingers crossed!) get labor going. Stacie said I was a "soft one" when she inserted the Cervidil which was better than the week before when I was barely a one. Bonnie warned that we could be in for a long night and that we should just go to bed and reminded us to call her when we were ready for her to come back. We didn't listen and instead played a few card games and watched Jimmy Fallon and tried to go to bed around 11 pm.

I say tried because about 11 pm the contractions started. These contractions weren't that hard, they were just very uncomfortable. The nurse brought me a ball after I requested it. Allan kept trying to catch some sleep and every hour or two I would wake him up for some support. These contractions were coming every 3-5 minutes and were so uncomfortable it was hard to sleep. At 2 am I called my nurse and asked her to check me. I had put into my birth plan that I wanted to be left alone and I'd ask for checks - but I wanted them to be limited. I was declared to be a "two." I continued to labor through the night, tried to find a good birthing position but nothing was jiving. I am not sure when Allan called Bonnie, but he called her and she came. At this time it was shift change for the nurses and I was told the Cervidil would be removed soon. 

Bonnie arrived and they took out the Cervidil. I was still a "two" which kind of deflated me. Bonnie was an angel. She helped talk me through some options and it was decided I would have a short break before they put me on Pitocin (which was part of the induction plan from the beginning). I was able to take a bath and sitting in that deep tub was the best part of my labor. Allan went to get breakfast and Bonnie stayed with me and helped provide counter pressure and read some of the Hypnobabies scripts. 

Allan returned and the Pitocin drip started. I was on a VERY small dose and the contractions started to get harder. Bonnie was applying counter pressure on my hips during a contraction at one point and she and I both felt and heard a "pop." I then though I had to pee...come to find out my water had broken as it kept trickling out. I got up on the bed and found my side to be the most comfortable but I was SO tired. I hurt all over and was thinking I couldn't do this anymore. It was about 9:45 or so at this point (I think, times are all a blur to me) and Bonnie and I started talking pain management. I knew I didn't want an epidural, but I needed something because I thought I had many, many more hours of laboring. I believe we settled on a dose of something (Demerol maybe?) but in order to get it I had to be checked first. My laboring noises had changed (I guess) and Bonnie thought that I might be starting to push. So the nurse checked me and said something along the lines of "oh! Your baby is right there you can do this!" So no pain management for me, baby was on his way! This was about 10 am I believe. 

I followed my body and pushed when it told me. I don't remember everything Bonnie said, but I remember Allan repeating what she said and that bringing me a lot of comfort. There started to be a lot of action in the room with other nurses coming in and such and then Stacie arrived. At one point the nurse was worried that Stacie wouldn't make it! Stacie let me do my thing and said reassuring things. At one point she told me to reach down and I'd feel baby's head and that was a crazy experience! Moments later my sweet little boy was out and on my chest. He had SO MUCH HAIR!!! 

Michael Allan Ambrose III was here and our little Trey (his new nickname based off being the "third") had made it safely in just 2.5 hours from the time I started to progress. He was a speed demon!  7lbs 10 oz and 21 inches long. We did it!!
Soon after he was born though it became apparent that Trey was having a hard time breathing so he was whisked off to the NICU. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere as I had some significant tearing and was losing a lot of blood. Things get really hazy here, but I remember Allan going off with Trey and Bonnie staying with me.  They put me under because the pain was getting to be unbearable. Come to find out I lost one liter of blood.


Part Three:

After I was finished being stitched up I remember Allan coming in and showing me pictures of our cute boy and I was able to order some lunch. That was the best lunch ever.  I hung out in my delivery room for a little bit longer (they were keeping a very close eye on me with all the blood I lost) and soon they took me to my recovery room.

We were able to stop by the NICU so I could see my sweet baby, but I couldn’t hold him as he had just had a shot of Surfactin to help his lungs out and had to stay laying down. I napped a lot that day. The hospital lactation consultant stopped by and brought an electric pump so that I could start pumping.
Allan stayed the night with me and the next day my midwife stopped by to see how I was doing. I was still very pale from the loss of blood and so she ordered two units for me. I got one unit that morning and then was able to go see my baby. This was the first time I was able to hold him since he was born. I couldn’t believe how much hair he had!!

I was wheeled back to my room for round two of blood and Allan went to go see Lindy. She wanted to come see Trey SO BAD, but with traffic there just wasn’t time. I started pumping frequently and am proud to say that other than one (or maybe two?) feedings ALL of Trey’s feedings at the NICU came from me. Proud mommy moment right there.

Lindy did get to come to the hospital that weekend as she was with us for the weekend. She loved getting to see him. ( the NICU nurses were so great to let us take him to the window for her to see him!) And luckily she had another fun thing planned: her birthday present from us of getting to see Beauty and the Beast by Ballet West II. Her and daddy got all dressed up and had a lovely time. BreeAnn came to see me with Café Rio and Cheesecake Factory cheesecake. Best girls' night ever!

Days in the hospital were pretty boring, I pumped, visited Trey every few hours, held him and slept. I was released Saturday and was able to stay two more days at the hospital with the hope Trey would be able to come home Monday. Unfortunately, Trey wasn’t ready to be released and I had to leave him there while I went home. That was SO HARD. I’m tearing up now typing this.

The next six days were hard. I would pump for Trey through the night and call the NICU when I woke up in the morning to see when he had last eaten. I would then go to the hospital for his next feeding (by this time he was breastfeeding like a champ!) and hang out most of the day. A couple of days I went home and ate dinner with Allan and we’d go back for one last feeding before going home and sleeping.
A LOT happened in my family this week medical wise, Daelynn had some epilepsy-related issues, I was dealing with a NICU situation and my brother-in-law Tyler had his appendix removed. My mom felt like she needed to come out (originally she wasn’t going to come until May) and we found an AMAZING last minute flight deal and out came my mom. This was the best. She came up and saw me and Trey at the NICU one day and we went to lunch. She then came up that weekend when Allan and I roomed in and came home with Trey! It was so nice to have her around when we came home with Trey.

We did have to come home with oxygen, but that as okay. I was just glad to be HOME. Trey was on the oxygen 24/7 for about 2.5 weeks and then we started weaning him off. Two weeks later he was officially off the oxygen. I was a VERY happy camper that day. :D

So there you go, the wonderful story of how Trey joined our family.

This Birth Story is from one of my Hypnobabies students, Melissa. She and her husband joined me in my home as I taught them the 6 week class. She had such a wonderful and supportive birth partner and they were so excited and confident about their upcoming home birth. Its fun to hear about the births my student prepare for so diligently.

On August 13, 2016, around 2:00 am I woke up from sleeping in our basement apartment of my parent's home. This happened from time to time during pregnancy when I couldn't go back to sleep. I waited it out in the bed for an hour before giving up. I decided to move to the couch with some headphones to listen to a Hypnobabies track and see if I couldn't get back to sleep. I put on "deepening your hypnosis," and must have dosed off, because I remember coming back to it at 3:45 am with a pressure wave (which just felt like menstrual cramps in my pelvic area). I drifted back, but had another pressure wave at 3:57, 4:05, and 4:15 am. Towards the end of the 4:15 am pressure wave, I felt a release of warm liquid between my legs. I put my hand down there to feel how wet it was. It was wet enough that I was pretty certain my water had just broken.

I got up from the couch and went to the bathroom through the bedroom, calling to my husband, Justin, on the way through to wake him up. He groggily came into the bathroom and I told him my water had broken. He asked if I was sure. I said yes, I was pretty sure. We checked the color to make sure it looked clear enough that we weren't worried about myconeum. It looked okay. Just was pretty adamant that I get off the toilet and back into bed and try to sleep or rest. We had been told that first-time mom's labors are 18 hours, on average, and our biggest enemy would be tiring too early from lack of rest/food. So, I cleaned up and moved into the bedroom to a birthing ball. Meanwhile Justin had been timing my pressure waves from the time my water broke. They were averaging about 4-5 minutes apart and 30-60 seconds long. Each pressure wave on the birthing ball (or toilet for that matter) was bringing more fluid out, which was pretty uncomfortable on the birthing ball (with a towel on it). I moved back to the toilet to Justin's chagrin. He kept pushing me to get back into a resting position. I finally looked at him and said how much I appreciated his concern and how he was so right to be concerned about my rest, etc...but that I really didn't think that a long labor was going to be my problem.

About then I started really feeling like we needed to get things going. I kept saying, "we need to inflate the tub," "we need to turn up the water heater," "we need to text the midwives and tell them my water has broken," etc. But as soon as Justin would leave my side to do any of things, I would call for him and think, "Where is he!! I need him right now!!" The poor guy. I finally repeated my query as to whether he had contacted the midwives. When he said no, I told him, "I need a midwife here now!" He texted and followed up with a call to our midwife, Heather Johnston, at 5:30 am. Heather was on speaker to see how I was doing. We told her the times on my pressure waves. I think I told her I really wanted her there. She said okay, she would come.

I remember hearing Justin try to get her oriented and knowing exactly what to say to get her here, but being unable to say it since I was in the middle of a pressure wave. As soon as it cleared, I got her oriented in just a couple of sentences. She arrived around 6:30 am. I was so relieved when she arrived!
As soon as Heather arrived, we stopped timing pressure waves. Justin got her a stool to sit on and they both set up beside me in the bathroom. I remember Justin asking her about her sister's recent birth (our other midwife). I remember thinking, "Why are you small talking!! Stop! I need you focused with me right now!" I think I shushed them at some point. This part blurs together and I have no idea how long it took. I remember asking if the tub was ready yet. Heather asked if I was ready to move to the tub, and I said yes. She said, "Ok, we can start filling it." "Start???" I thought. Oh, boy...

 At some point on the toilet, I stopped being able to tell the end of one pressure wave from the start of the next. It was just more intense and less intense. I remember one or two where I seriously wanted to tense up, get up and protest or scream that this was too hard!! I knew that that would not help and would probably hurt more, so I just tried to stay relaxed through it. Looking back, I believe this was transition for me. And because I appeared so relaxed (from the outside) and because Heather hadn't checked my cervix for dilation at this point, I don't think anyone else had any idea I was already to transition. Especially since first time moms are typically slow (this was about 4 hours from my first contraction).
Our hot water heater did too good a job, and the water was full, but too hot. Now we had to get ice from upstairs to cool it down. All this waiting and Justin leaving my side was really, really hard! Finally, Heather announced that the tub was ready whenever I wanted to get into it. I indicated that I was ready right now. She and Justin helped me up and amidst a "less intense" part of a pressure wave I moved to the birthing tub, which was set up in the front room just off the tile on the carpet. I got in and Justin, just outside the tub, held both of my hands. The first pressure wave that came I made three sort of pushes. Heather said, "Did you just slip, or are you getting pushy??" I told her I was getting pushy. She made a surprised sound and ran out to her car to get some things and call Fara Bitter, the other midwife that would come.

When she came back in she checked me (not too fun!) and said she thought I was at an 8, but that it was hard to tell because of my hands-and-knees position. Heather said that if I hadn't crowned in 15 minutes, she would want to do a more thorough check on my cervix.
At this point, I was at least getting a break with relief between pressure waves. I remember my sister-in-law and photographer, Mickelle, arrived and started setting up cameras, and I remember Fara arrived, but I don't remember in what order.

I remember pushing and pushing. I could feel his head descending. At one point toward the end, I decided to change positions from facing the tub wall to putting my back to the tub and squatting more on my feet with Justin's arms under mine supporting me and me holding his hands. I remember really trying to make low guttural noises and keep my throat open and loose to prevent tearing. I remember thinking maybe this next push he'll come out...maybe this will be the one. I knew we were close. As soon as I changed positions, Heather checked me again to make sure I wasn't pushing against my cervix. About two inches in she exclaimed, "Oh, yep! I feel a head! He's coming!" She confirmed what I thought I knew, but it was a relief to know the past hour of pushing was not wasted effort. I was starting to feel pretty exhausted. To this point I knew I hadn't put all of my energy and effort into each push. Partly I wanted my body to do it so I wouldn't tear, and partly I was just too tired. My feet slipped out from under me at one point and I just kept pushing like that. As his head approached, the buoyancy of the water made it feel like his head was putting pressure on the upper part of my cervix, like it wanted to float up.

Finally, after a pressure wave and a push (with me giving a little more umph towards these last pushes), his head came out and the midwives exclaimed so. I remember throughout the pushing phase, they kept putting the doplar into the water and onto my belly, which I found pretty annoying. I also remember when he crowned and when his head came out, they asked if I wanted to feel his head. I said, "No." I wasn't really interested, and I didn't think I could let go of Justin's hands long enough to do so. They put a mirror into the water for us to see his head. I still wasn't terribly interested. It was distracting to me and my work wasn't over. I know it gives some people the boost they need to keep going, but not me.
I remember being between pressure waves with his head out and I felt a serious amount of movement between my legs all of a sudden. It was not at all comfortable. I wasn't exactly sure what was happening, but I could feel a lot of baby moving, and I said, "Ouch! Can you just pull him out?!" at least twice. The midwives said no, they had to wait till the next pressure wave. It felt like forever until the next pressure wave, which may have been triggered by the next bout of wiggles. Finally, his little body slipped all the way out at 9:47 am, about 1 hour and 15 minutes from getting into the tub and starting to push and 6 hours almost to the minute from my first contraction.

Heather picked him up out of the water and placed him on my chest. His back was just covered with thick vernix. He had given one good scream when he came out of the water and quieted down quickly once he was on my chest. His bright eyes looked around. Justin was able to look right down at him and talk to him. It was pretty apparent that the baby recognized his voice and looked up at him. I loved his "baby fur." He had so much blond hair on his body and his head, which you didn't notice how much, really, because of how light it was. I also remember noting the smell of the whole experience, from my water breaking, to laboring in the tub, to holding my baby. I don't know what the smell was, exactly, but it was very distinct.

   This is a memory I wrote about my son, almost exactly 2 years ago. He is now approaching 6, my how time flies. This memory has been on my mind lately and so I dug it out of the depths of my saved Word files. I decided it had to be shared. What better way to kick off a blog than with something so loving such as this?
Sweet memories.
Enjoy.
{And then go find something or someone to cuddle.}

............................................................................................................................


     My son, Jack, loves his blankie. It was a hand-me-down gift from his baby sitter, still in great condition. A simple piece of  fleece material with brightly colored dinosaurs printed on it. It is cut around the edge in one inch strips then tied in knots so there are tassels around the whole thing. Out of all the silky and velvety blankets that he was given as a newborn, once he was old enough to have a preference he chose the one that had been loved by another baby already.

      Now years later as he approaches his fourth birthday he still loves it and uses it as his comfort item when he is upset. When he is tired he bunches the tassels up in his hand and tickles his face with them until he falls asleep.  He can’t fully snuggle up to someone without it.  I shudder to think of a night when the blankie goes missing. That will surely be a bad night for everyone.

      I have often considered finding that same material and getting a “back-up blankie” just in case, but it just wouldn’t be the same if I did and he would probably know it was different. I’m sure if that were to happen all the magic in his blankie would be lost. The same way the velveteen rabbit held so much magic from being loved on. So the blankie stays as it is. Magic, dirt, and all.

     Since the blankie goes where he goes, it gets dirty fast. A weekly washing is always needed and sometimes a midweek washing too. As a baby he used to stand at the washer crying and watch it spin around and around until it was time to put it in the dryer, anxiously awaiting a soft, warm, freshly washed blankie to emerge.

     A few Sundays ago, I was finishing up my weekly laundry routine and trying to get my kids ready for bed at the same time.  A hurt and sleepy Jack walked through my bed room door with tears in his eyes. He and his brother were wound up and rough housing and of course, the little brother always takes a beating in these "brother-battle" situations. He cried to me about how his big brother had hurt him as I snuggled him in my arms and kissed his face and head.

     “Jack,” I said to him “let’s go get your blankie out of the dryer, OK?” I walked down the hallway to the laundry room with my near-four year old cradled in my arms like a baby. His not so little legs dangling over my arms as I walked. I opened the dryer door, got out his blankie, and walked back to my room. I stood him up right on my bed and shook the blanket out and wrapped it around him from head to toe, and then I took him in my arms and cradled him again.

     He nestled his face in his blankie and closed his eyes as I soothed him, rocking back and forth. He took a deep breath in and looked up at me with crystal blue eyes and said, “I love freshly washed blankies.”
      Those little words melted my heart.  “Oh, you do?” I asked him, “I’m so glad, because I washed it special for you.”  I could have spent the rest of my life as a laundry maid and died happy from the memory of that moment, which is saying a lot since laundry is every parent's common nemesis.

      I kept on rocking him, sitting on the edge of my bed with stacks of freshly washed clothes all around us. I looked at his wispy strawberry-blonde hair swept over his forehead and the red little bump above his eye from his brother-battle. I looked at his closed eyes and eyelashes, clumped together and wet from tears. I studied his little face, half hidden in the blanket until I laid him down in his bed for the night. 

My sweet little boy loves his blankie.